Originally Posted by dakid
i am a bit bewildered by this post, i use the word slut as a positive thing so can't really connect with the fear of being one. i am one and am proud to be.
have you heard of the book "the ethical slut"? i have identified as a slut since i was fifteen but finding that book when i was 30 felt like coming home. one can certainly be a poly slut, i suppose one can also be a poly without being a slut if you want.
seems like the problem is that you define casual sex/one night stands as markedly different to other contexts in which you do or might have sex/connect intimately with someone - and your partner doesn't.
maybe you need to explain and clarify to P that this was just casual sex and what that means for you so that he stops saying the things/making the assumtions you describe in your post?
sorry to bewilder you, I dont mean to attack or hurt anyone. My boyfriend told me to buy the ethical slut and I did and found it to be a good read, and would love to read it again but i let someone borrow it and they never returned it. That said, while it gave me a lot of insight at the time I read it, polyamory was so complex and confusing to me. I understand how being an ethical slut is something to be proud about also that the term slut isnt used derogitorily among the polyamorous community. I dont mean to offend anyone. while reading this book I felt like it really wasnt talking to me. Untill this night i never even kissed anyone on the random! Anyhow thanks for all the feedback guys, ill be reading through and responding as soon as I get some of my studies done. Hope i didnt offend anyone...Im really a novice at this stuff and just trying to understand!