So yesterday C told me he's opened an OKC account. He told me that while he originally checked the 'available' box and mentioned poly (and me) in his description of himself, he has since taken it out and is now listed as single (and no mention of non-monogamy, poly, multiple relationships, hypothetical or real, in his profile - I just read it).
He says he doesn't want to 'scare' women. He also says that he's been in touch with a couple of women and told them in email and chat about me. So the thing is, I have no reason to doubt him and to think that he's thinking about keeping his relationship with me a secret, but still, for some reason, it doesn't sit well with me that when you read his profile, there no clue about the fact that he is already in a relationship.
I want the best for him - I want him to date - but of course in my ideal world I want him to date someone who would be ok with the fact that he's also with me. Somehow, this development gives me the feeling that I am not that important to him.
I told him yesterday that for me, the status quo is pretty good, and I can see things improving from here - more intimacy, more integration in each others lives. So for me, what I want is pretty clear. I'm committed to my husband and I'm, committed to C.
Am I being childish in thinking he is not that committed to me?
early forties, straight.