Hope in understanding
Time for some positive(ish) sharing.
I'm working on making friends in the bisexual world. I've connected via email, and facebook with a woman who has accepted her bisexuality more the 7 years ago, and has experience other women. She is married and her husband is open to her bisexuality. So they have a poly life, with her not currently dating any one, but with the understanding that she will date women again. she spends time on poly forums trying to prepare herself for the day her husband decides he wants a girlfriend too.
They are not looking for a third so there is not threesome type expectation on either side.
Airyn wants me to met her face to face. They both know that I want to get past my break up with Chipmunk, and that I'm just looking for friendship, companionship, someone to go out to gay/lesbian friendly parties, and locations with. Some one who wants to go out to these places and events cause they have the same wants, and understanding that I do.
Chipmunk offered to go with me to lesbian/bi restaurants, and get-togethers'. But I told her that since it's not a lifestyle she wants that I'd rather not take her. She likes to hold hands, and kiss and we generally look a lot like a couple when we go out just the two of us. So it's really not helpful. And it doesn't give me the separation I feel I need right now. I know she has talked to Airyn about this.
I thanked him just now for helping me work out how I'm feeling last night. I asked him to help me remember these things. That I am important, that I just feel guilty, and am trying to take responsibility. To remind me that it is not rejection, that Chipmunk wants as much intimacy as I am comfortable with, but that she's just not comfortable with sex because she's not gay. Not because she doesn't want me.
I told Airyn that WE need to tell Chipmunk that I'm trying to work through how I'm feeling, and that it's making me really needy of Airyn's time. That I'm not trying to alienate her. I'm just trying to understand how I feel, and to move past my disappointment, and all the difficulty I'm having with breaking up. I told Airyn that I don't want Chipmunk to think that my struggling right now is her fault, or that her being here makes it worse. I really think I can get past this. I just need time, and help.
Airyn says that tell her this will help with her personal stress a lot. I told him that I don't know if I can bring it up and say anything myself. That attempting to do so right now might just make me emotional, and that Chipmunk doesn't need that right now. Airyn offered to show Chipmunk our chat, or to read it directly to her later. I told him that I don't mind her reading it for herself. That as long as she knows it's coming from me, and isn't just Airyn trying to smooth thing over it should help.
Hopfully these next few days will help all of us be closer, and happier.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married