I cannot even imagine the pain you must be feeling right now, but your anger I certainly do understand. The way she's acting, assuming you've told us everything, I can honestly say that you would be justified in turning around and walking away from this relationship. BUT (and this is a big but) you've been with her for ten years, and you want to save this relationship. Take the advice of the other posters and talk to her about exactly what shape your relationship is going to take. Be fair, but don't be a pushover. Let her know how you feel, and make sure she understands that what she's doing isn't poly; it's just plain being selfish.
Last edited by Eternaldarkness; 10-24-2012 at 11:52 PM.