You raise a very good point which I had not even noticed about the "should" issue, I guess after 15 years of stable emotional bliss where management was not even required it is certainly a new learning curve I am on now!!
I understand what you are saying about focusing on what I want rather than what I don't and I do try to keep looking at the Yay side but its a persistent beast inside this one.
I have not mentioned about having a "talk" with them although I have indicated to Rose that it will need to happen soon. I think bringing it up now would create uncertainty and could bring on the need to talk about it there and then, I will wait until after the weekend and then ask them for a suitable time to sit down together asap.
Thankfully they are not out of town for this tournament its a local one and I am going to be involved with it to some degree which is great for me.
I know time is going to be one of the biggest healers and that this is still all new and full of various levels of NRE, and I am determined to work through this and not let it bring me down to its level.
Going to sort through page 4 now and see what I find.