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Old 10-24-2012, 09:07 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I think my wife may always have been secretly Poly as she is so comfortable with it and Angels only concern is that this does not damage our marriage, I mean they are both being the perfect partners and I should have no reason to feel the way I do, damn it!!
You feel however you feel because some want/need is not being met. Emotional management is challening to learn but it can be done.

You could stop using "should" language with yourself. Just accept that you feel whatever it is and focus on what you want -- "I want to experience freedom from ughness." So note what is ugh free. Relax. If you need reassurance or support -- ask your partners for it. They sound willing to give.

Rather than focus on what you do not want -- "I do not want to experience yucky emotional ugh!" Nobody WANTS to experience ugh -- but it is not realistic in approach to always be on guard for "No ugh here on me! No ugh here on me!" You end up LOOKING for the "Ugh" and where it is parked at (here or not here?) rather than allowing yourself to look for the "yay" and experience that more fully instead. It is a good way to make oneself feel wiggy!

Now since they are out of town for a tournament, have you set a "relationship talk" appointment? Perhaps going over that sheet together? Then you can ask for help to own and do your page 5 things. And they can own and do their page 6 things so you feel some relief?

Mostly the passage of time will help --" LOOK! A year in! NOTHING horrible happened!" But in the meanwhile... it isn't a terrible thing to ask for help or support/nurture as you work on your jealousy things.

Since you say all of page 4 applies -- how about rewriting them in the order of ughness? Then tackle the easy ones to get rid of first so there's less on the plate? Say top 3 -- what are those? Bottom 3 -- what are those?

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-24-2012 at 10:30 PM.
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