Originally Posted by Vosh
don't want the relationship to end but it looks like it's going to but like you say won't have to deal with her motheir
No, no, no. Decide if YOU want to end the relationship or not. None of this wishy washy shit happens to me business. You love her and want to stay in a relationship with her. That seems clear. Tell her that clearly. Tell her it is unacceptable how she is handling an outside sexual relationship. You deserve better than to be treated like that. (You are far away from even considering if the two of you can make poly work.) Tell her what you need from her to be in a good respectful relationship.
And yes you might still break up. You have no control over her actions or thoughts. All you can do is decide what you want, communicate that clearly, set the limits you need and see how she responds. In other words make her openly break up with you instead of making you pull the trigger when you finally stop taking her vicious behavior. And what she is doing is vicious and mean.
Really I bet you would be much happier without her and her mother.
BTW, losing the MIL was the only good thing about my divorce.