We don't live in the same city, and the subject honestly never came up, not since they got married, anyway.
What has changed, as I said, is that Nanny's health issues have gone to a simmer rather than a boil. Things aren't as bad (while it's a couple of chronic conditions that we'll be living with for the rest of our lives) and I feel like, emotionally, she's in a position where she wouldn't see it as any kind of refutation of her, or a problem with her. (Or, at least, where I wouldn't feel that she might think that way. Projection is a wonderful thing, isn't it?) Related, our sex life has improved with the improvement of her health, so I'm not wondering myself if it's just looking for sex that's prompting me this direction.
Anneintherain and GG, you guys have been wonderfully perceptive and understanding, and have asked some good questions and given some good advice. Thank you both so much for "listening." I'll give updates as appropriate...