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Old 10-22-2012, 06:10 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

I replied to your other post about this, I'll just going to copy and paste it here so the discussion is all in one place:
Originally Posted by purelyparadox23 View Post
Should I go for it and pursue the guy I'm lusting after with my boyfriend's blessing?
I would say probably. You've been honest, your boyfriend has given you the green light, there's just a couple other things you should clarify first:

- Talk to boyfriend about what happens/how you two deal if your feelings for this other guy become stronger after sleeping with him. Maybe your curiosity is satisfied and that's the end of it, but maybe not. It's a topic that should be broached before jumping in. Is he willing to take the risk that something could become more than just sex? Are you? Do you feel like you might be able to be in love with two people at once? (Note: these aren't questions I need answers to. Purely for you and he to discuss)

- Be honest with the other guy. I know, it's hard letting someone know you're interested, PLUS letting them know you have a significant other and are not, in fact, looking for a romantic connection (unless, of course, you are). As a female, it's highly possible you have fears of being considered a slut if you only want sex, which makes it even MORE difficult. But if you're thinking of this guy as an experiment, he deserves to know that before making his own decision about whether or not to sleep with you. It being college, telling him that you think he's hot and want NSA sex might work just fine, but he still deserves to know where you're coming from up front.

I see many parallels between your situation and my situation with MC when we were in college (especially when he was in Wales for a semester), as well as with my current long-distance situation with TGIB. I wish you luck!

Originally Posted by MoonElf View Post
I was afraid that he was telling me it's ok just to I can be happy, but that he would secretly get hurt.
I totally know this feeling. I have to work really hard on trusting that both MC and TGIB will tell me how they're REALLY feeling, rather than trying to hide it so I'll be happy or not upset.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack

Last edited by ThatGirlInGray; 10-22-2012 at 06:25 PM.
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