Originally Posted by persephone
But he didn't communicate with her, put her wants first, and I got upset. He's upset with himself too, to the point where he is seeking therapy to discuss this exact issue.
Yikes! He got so upset that he didn't spend time with you that he had to go to therapy! lol
I differ strongly with many poly folks on this issue. I do not practice hierarchical polyamory, in that, my relationships are not ranked against one another - they are what they are.
That aside, I try to be a person of my word. This includes my relationships with my friends, lovers, workmates, etc. If I make plans with someone and then blow them off for someone else... what does that say about how I value them? I'll answer that for you, it says I don't value them as highly as this other person.
No one likes to have it rubbed in their face that they are a "secondary" friend or lover. If I break off plans I've already made with one person in favor of another then I have done just that... rubbed it in their face... and that's just plain bad manners.