what if he can read this thread and realize that he's been neglecting my need to feel considered and consulted?
Alright. You can choose to show him the thread. You are obligating him to meet your needs in doing so.
He's stated he does not WANT to be obligated to meet your needs. That means stop asking him to. Again - when do you LISTEN?
what if he can see that its ok to have obligations to the ones you love?
He might see that for some people it is ok. Still does not mean HE wants to have obligations. Still does not mean he wants to have obligations to YOU.
Hon, I know this is Hard to Hear. But he is telling you clearly and directly -- he wants to not be in romantic relationship with you. Break up with him.
Breaking up sucks, but it isn't the end of the world. A broken heart will keep on beating, and after a time you will heal and feel better.
Each time I broke up I cried my eyes out, but each time? I healed and a new happiness came along. Have you broken up before? Is this the first major break up in your life? How can people help you navigate these feelings? I know it's internal stormy weather right now -- but feelings do blow on through. Ride it out. You can do it. While stormy weather times stink, it's only after a storm that you get rainbows. The storm DOES stop eventually.
You will go through all the stages of grief
mourning what is lost. But knowing that? You can monitor your feelings and see where you are at. In time you will travel all of them and then get better. Right now you are at "pain" and maybe starting in at "bargaining" -- or that is how it sounds.
Hang in there!