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Old 10-22-2012, 12:50 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

I more or less agree with what folks have said already. In broad strokes, it's paramount that you know what you want out of a relationship and that your relationship meet those desires for the most part. No relationship is going to meet all wants and needs, which is one reason I am polyamorous.

However, your boyfriend is telling you something, something I once came to understand and had to make some hard choices because of it...

Originally Posted by jackieseuce View Post
today we got in a fight becasue he said since being in a relationship with this girl, lets call her kathy, he doesn't want to be in a relationship where anyone needs anyone at any point, and like, has to be by their side when their upset, and like, doesn't want to feel obligated to anyone, and basically wants to be able to come and go as he pleases
He's making it pretty clear that he has learned a new way of relating from his new girlfriend. My guess is that Kathy has a different level of need and doesn't have the following issue...

Originally Posted by jackieseuce View Post
he's spending so much time away do to them being in like the honey moon phase of the relationship and because of our own relationship issues, and its like, physically debilitating me.
This statement is very serious, to me. This statement is also serious to your boyfriend. Currently he is giving you a heads up that this kind of relating is not working for him.

In the end, GG is right, sounds like this dude is on his way out the door. Which might be for the best because you probably have some emotional things you need to work out.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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