Sigh, I'm going to do a now TOTALLY Nyquil filled response. Nothing you said made me think there was some alpha/beta manly chest beating issue going on, just that there are fears and worries within you. You are worrying, but is the only source of worry yourself?
I read your post, and your responses to other threads tonight, and you seem level headed, rational, and sane. I wonder is a big part that R thought poly would boost his libido so now you are supposed to feel guilty/withdraw because it hasn't?
I'll say I had similar thoughts to what was previously posted "I'm not threatened by new partner because they aren't R's type" and say...taking that tact is bad, because someday you will be incorrect and it will rock your world.
And one last thought is...things seem to be going well so..why are you so worried? Stop? That seems like sound advice to me at least, stop worrying if nothing is going wrong, if nobody is saying they are unhappy...
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.