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Old 10-22-2012, 07:41 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackieseuce View Post
what if he can read this thread and realize that he's been neglecting my need to feel considered and consulted? what if he can see that its ok to have obligations to the ones you love?
I'd suggest a better route is to figure out what you want and to ask for it, don't make it about "need" but about what you want from a relationship (X days a week for dates/hanging out, X hours a date where what is going on with the two of you is the major topic of conversation, whatever you want, that you feel you are lacking now, so you can figure out if you can get what you want/need from a relationship with him, or if you need to seek it elsewhere/end the relationship). Pointing to a thread where you said how you felt is...OK...GG gave you some hard thoughts to have, but having him look at this instead of being brave enough to ask for what you WANT/NEED is probably not a long term solution in life let alone this relationship.

I don't know that you are needy, but you do need to work on your communication skills. Have you read any books about poly? If not I recommend Opening Up

If he won't spend time with you because you have the nerve to "need support or love" then, ditch him. Why would you want to be in a friendship or lovership with somebody who didn't care if you were hurting? On the other hand it is wrong to expect him to read your mind, so its up to you to state what you are feeling.
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