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Old 10-22-2012, 02:45 AM
jackieseuce jackieseuce is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
Default How can i be Polyamouress when i have trouble being with out my lover?

well, i've been in a relationship with someone for a year now, and now he's being involved with someone else, and i've encouraged it this whole time, and he would have never gotten involved with this person with out me encouraging it and he didn't even identify as polyamouress until i got in a relationship with him, but now that he's in a relation ship he's spending so much time away do to them being in like the honey moon phase of the relationship and because of our own relationship issues, and its like, physically debilitating me.

today we got in a fight becasue he said since being in a relationship with this girl, lets call her kathy, he doesn't want to be in a relationship where anyone needs anyone at any point, and like, has to be by their side when their upset, and like, doesn't want to feel obligated to anyone, and basically wants to be able to come and go as he pleases, so when he asked if he could hang out with kathy today after spending most of a week and a half with her, and he's supposed to live with me at my parents house, i didn't have the courage to tell him i wanted him to spend time with me, because i felt like with all my life stress i need him right now; i was afraid that if i needed him he would abandon me.

So, when the first thing i did today was have a shower, only to come out to him saying he's going to kathy's, i started crying and then we started fighting and by the time he left because my mom told him to i was sobbing and listening to sad music until pretty much just now when i have a shit ton of math homework and its late.

i think he'd be willing to reconsider his choice of words, he's already said as much that it was a bad choice of words, but that doesn't change that it's probably how he feels, and its also the way kathy feels, so there doesn't seem anything to stop the love of my life finding that just being with kathy most of the time is better then being with me, and i've been living and dating exclusively him for a year and have had lonelyness issues my whole life.

i'm too needy but i can't help but be lonely and want him to be around when he's not.

i hope some one has some words of advice, because i don't want to lose him, and i don't want to sabotage his relationship with kathy, but i don't want to replace my desire for him with someone else, i don't feel this is polyamourey,

they are both introverted, so they can't appreciate that no matter what my boyfriend does he's with someone he loves and who loves him.

everytime he's around, it feels like he can't wait until he's back with kathy, and every time he's gone, it feels like i can't do anything but wait around until he comes back.

Last edited by jackieseuce; 10-22-2012 at 03:03 AM.
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