Originally Posted by nondy2
Also, and this is secondary, if you have been through sexual trama, how do you not feel uncomfortable with certain issues. I can't change who I am! If sex parities make me uncomfortable and my husband knows that so it isn't worth it to him , why is that wrong?
It is NOT wrong. Your husband needs to determine whether the enjoyment he derives from these sex parties equals or exceeds his willingness to watch a person he presumably cares for (you) go through the anguish of knowing he participates in those activities.
And you need to decide if your "comfort zone" (see other thread) is something you need to preserve at the risk of your relationship... based on how he values that as described above...
Sounds like he decided the pain it causes you is not worth the pleasure it brings to him.
there is NOTHING wrong with that at all.
ETA: I find it refreshing when one partner realizes that being in a relationship is not always about what's pleasurable or convenient for THEMSELVES.