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Old 10-22-2012, 12:47 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

I'd absolutely die if I went three weeks without touch.

Poly has been a complete blessing for me in this. FBF, in the distant past, used to occasionally flinch from my touch. This caused me no end of pain (I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted to touch). CBF and I cannot be in each other's presence without touching. He always, and I mean every time, leans into my touch. I didn't understand how much I needed it until I was with him.

But I dated a lovely man long before FBF, and he touches everyone. When I first met him, he was freshly back from living six months in Brazil. He was nonplussed to return to the USA and become aware of how little touch goes on here. He has helped me to have more confidence about touching people (also getting older and not being afraid of as much).

So I don't completely rely upon my boyfriends for touch. I don't have as much as I want in my life, but I have to work on ensuring I don't starve.

I can completely understand what you wrote about the 'charge.' Me, my hands are totally sensitive, and I frequently forget. So if I'm touched the right way, I have totally body frissons (kriyas, shivers, it has many names), and it can be embarassing. FBF delights in creating them.

I recommend massage school. It's a completely respectable profession. The hardest part of it for me, was the ending of it. I was going to school every day and getting touched by lots of people. It was horrible withdrawals when it stopped. You could then become a teacher of massage, thus continuing the cycle. I was unable to continue because my body fell apart whilst I was in school (it wasn't just that, it was a perfect storm of awfulness that's not relevant to this story).

I would also suggest that if the woo energy management you learned isn't helping, then you haven't found the right help just yet. I, for one, don't see anything abnormal at all in your 'craving.' I do feel said that it's interfering with your happy life.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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