Thank you guys. I do understand. I do need the be direct about one thing:
"And actually, HIV is one of the less dangerous infections these days. They have anti-virals now that can keep a person from ever developing AIDS. But herpes has no cure and can be transmitted even with condoms."
This is not true! I have had friends die of AIDS in the last three years. No one has died from herpes, ever that I know. The vaccines are JUST being developed.
I don't know if this is common knowledge, but the HIV medication literary changes a person's body structure. I can tell from a few week away whether some one is positive and has been on meds for a while. The meds create fatty wasting in your cheeks and waist. As a consequecence, many men with HIV routinely get plastic surgery injections. No people don't die that often of AIDS anymore (although my friend did!) but HIV medication is not like taking an aspirin or anti-depressants. They cause drastic bodily issues.
I think you are right in saying it's an age thing. I told a 24 year old recently that I asked a potential lover what his HIV status was and he told me "you can't ask that!" O REALLY? I can't/shouldn't ask a potential lover if he had an HIV test, huh?
I do think the pos/neg thing is something hetrosexualsdon't know about. When you say "your status" or pos/neg in the gay world, it does mean HIV. There was even a magazine called POZ.
I'm sorry to get on a soap box, but your comment made me very nervous. OK, I know nothing about sex parties, and who is/isn't mature is a matter of opinion. But, this is something I do know about and have experienced (very) first hand.