Life is full of negotiations and compromises - we don't always get 100% of what we want. As long as your needs (your "bottom line") are being met, and are willing to negotiate in the "wants" department, then I don't think that anybody has the right to say that you are wrong.
For you, living the "poly life" obviously isn't a need - it is for some.
I congratulate you on your maturity to be able to work through what your priorities are and to reach a place of contentment.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb