Originally Posted by SummerRain
At this point I'm rather perplexed. Here is a man, who dresses like a girl, identifies as a girl, is into BDSM, switches from a top to a bottom, is into pony play and all sorts of other things and doesn't condone polyamory
I'm sitting here trying to wrap my head around it. The hypocrisy makes me want to strangle someone. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with Sally about acceptance and having people accept him/her for her kink and her lifestyle choices ... and she doesn't CONDONE
There's a big difference between accepting what someone else is, and wanting to be part of it.
Have you spoken to her about this? Asked what exactly she means by "condone?" Pointed out your opinion that it's hypocritical to judge you for your lifestyle while expecting others to be accepting of her own?
There are so many possible reasons for her to react negatively. She could have been cheated on in the past by someone who claimed to be polyamorous. She could have been really into you and was upset with the idea that you could never be with her the way you're with your husband.
Don't forget, she only had this reaction when you were asking to be involved with her romantically. She didn't stop being your friend when you told her you were polyamorous.
Without further discussion, I would give her the benefit of the doubt, that her usage of the word "condone" was sloppy and not deliberately judgemental. If you talk to her more and she still says that she's judging your poly ass, then you've got a better leg to stand on.