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Old 10-21-2012, 05:03 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Default Losing Time

Originally Posted by cmonkee View Post
There are a few other things that make this hard to swallow: the fact that he's making time for her, but is responding to some to my requests with "I'm super behind at work." I also realize that this crushy stuff will wear off quickly, but have trouble getting that to information to change how I feel in the moment.
It seems reasonable enough to me that you should feel negative emotions regarding losing time with someone you like to have time with. It's natural to be envious of someone who is getting something that you would like to have for yourself. I know that I can have a bit of a pout when I don't have as much access to Isa as I would like.

However, this is not Isas responsibility, as your feelings of envy are not your spouses responsibility. My feelings are entirely my own to deal with. That's not to say that I can't tell her in case she can shave off a bit more time with me. *but* she is under no obligation to grant my request or to take on any responsibility for my frustration.

Regarding "crushy" stuff, there is no guarantee that crush feelings will ebb quickly nor that they will not return periodically. I wouldn't necessarily get attached to the idea that he'll be "back to normal" as a method of dealing with your envy feelings.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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