Bows to BG.
Yes, you are correct. Hopefully my point is still understood.
It is a key theme in the drama that has been unfolding in our life.
Personally, I leave my partners part in it out. I just completely claim it as my own decision. Because-it is by the point I would be addressing it to someone else. Unless they were interested in knowing how I got to the decision, nothing else matters. And even if they were interested, I am guarded about giving my lovers 'ammunition' against each other by leaving the suggestion that my partner has control over my relationships. Their needs and desires matter to me, so their input is a BIG consideration in my choices. But, the choices remain mine.
That concept may seem like 'duh' to some people. But, so far the people I have met in rl have major issues with 'his wife wont allow', 'her husband wont let', 'her partner said we cant' etc.
In my opinion every one of those statements is patently false in that they are based upon the assumption that the hinge had no choice.
"Love As Thou Wilt"