Wow, thank you, thank you, thank you!
The only other folks who have encouraged me not to give up on G yet are also poly or at least poly friendly. So I suspect you are correct on the mono vs poly thing (meaning no offense to mono people, since eventually, I will probably be mono again).
Would I like a "one and only"? Maybe someday. Not right now.
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.
Me: F, 30's, bi.
Sadist: my fwb. M, 30's.
Pandora: Sadist's gf. F, 30's.