I'm not in a 12-step program. But, I grew up surrounded by it as my mom was in alanon. Several of my closest friends are in AA.
I am out about my lifestyle with everyone-and it hasn't been an issue.
I don't have any local poly-friends who are in the program, but I know Ariakas who used to post on here, is in AA. He talked about it quite a bit on here before he stopped posting and he still talks about it in his personal blog.
Regarding people (any people) who are judgmental, if its blatant, I remove them from my circle-as caustic. If it's actually questioning and unsure, I try to educate them on my reality so that they can form clearer questions and I can give them answers to their confusion of the unknown.
"Love As Thou Wilt"