Omg, thank you so much for posting, Island. Your relationships with T and J sounds truly beautiful, and congrats on where you are in terms of honesty in your life.
"I've tried to explain this to a few people and I get looks ranging from absolute horror to complete disbelief... I'm glad somebody else 'gets it'. Thanks AnnabelMore"
I mostly don't ever talk about it in my real life, except for with one very kinky friend. I was nervous about bringing it up here, not knowing how people would respond. It means so so much to me to have someone else say they know exactly what I mean!! And you're welcome, too.
Thanks also to everyone else who had posted so far with related thoughts.