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Old 10-20-2012, 07:29 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
It super sucks that he waited this long to drop the bomb. If there's a silver lining, it's that next time you'll know to make it clear from the beginning that you're only interested in a monogamous relationship, that that will never change, and that if the other person has any inkling of being other than truly monogamous, then it's not going to work.
There is no guarantee that the people we enter into relationships with will remain as they are for any amount of time. We change as we are exposed to new stimuli and hopefully our views of the world become more reasonable and happiness-enriching as we go. There is *always* the chance that someone will decide, several years into a relationship, "holy crap, I don't think this is what I want anymore".

This is just reality and I believe we owe it to our loved ones to resist any urges to control or limit their expression. When someone decides they need to move on... everyone hug, figure out how to split up the CDs, and hopefully be friends for the long hall.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I don't think you owe it to him to give an open relationship another thought, just to straight out say you're not interested and won't be able to date him any more.
Very true, your worldview is your own, how or if it changes is entirely up to you. That being said, there certainly is no harm in investigating other ideologies (if only to verify that they are, in fact, not for you). Who knows, the exposure to knew ideas might improve future relationships.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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