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Old 10-20-2012, 01:28 PM
cmonkee cmonkee is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
Angry Lying or "stretching the truth"

My partner is currently seeing someone else (G) and we have had several conversations about limiting the time they spend together. The conclusion of those was that he can have 2 "date nights" /week (usually 6-8 hours) and 3 "coffee dates" (1 hour max). The point of the 3 is to maintain the relationships and make sure they see each other not only for sex, but also regularly enough to catch up, etc. The 3 is a point of contention that he is not totally down with, but agreed to abide by for now. Note: There is currently no limit on the numerous "unavoidable" interactions they have because their offices are down the hall from each other. This ends up being about once per day for a coffee or something.

A day or two ago, he let me know that he had told G about the time rule. Later, he told me that he'd be "naughty" and didn't actually tell her about the 3 rule, only that they were limited to 2 date nights. He admitted that he didn't tell her because "it feels too inorganic."

Today we had a discussion in which I told him that when he said to me that he told G about the time rule, but had not actually done so fully, that constituted not telling the truth. He disagrees and claims that it's fine.

This is already a contentious relationship that I'm working very hard to be ok with, and is resulting in us spending nearly all of our quality time together discussing G or fighting. I don't want to create more problems, but the core necessity for me in this is total honesty and I don't think I'm getting that.

Any advice out there for disagreements about what "the truth" is?

Last edited by cmonkee; 10-21-2012 at 12:48 AM.
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