Thank you, playswellwithothers and Vixtoria in particular, for sharing your experiences and insights about what my wife's GF is likely experiencing. You have helped me wrap my head around what she's going through.
I have my wife relaying pretty much blow-by-blow what steps her GF's taken and how her husband has responded and how much pervasive sadness there is in it all. But honestly, I still didn't grasp fully what motivated the GF to initiate the end of her marriage now and not years ago or months from now. Although I don't know that the GF consciously sees my wife and I as having the model relationship, she has acknowledged it stands in contrast to her own. I think it's really her discovery of my wife and how she feels for her that has opened her eyes to the lack of passion and love in her marriage she has passively accepted for too long.
As for me, it's another dawn. But not just another day. Thankfully it will be a busy one in which I will go to the gym, take my son to his soccer game, and help my wife entertain friends from out of town. At some point she'll prepare a meal for the kids and I tonight. She'll be absent as she and the GF go out before spending the night, their first together, at a nearby hotel.
My wife expects a lot of uninterrupted and unhurried crying and holding. I, of course, expect the intimacy will not end there.
I'm OK with this. I am, right? I mean, I intentionally bought the box set of the third season of Community to keep my occupied tonight. If that's not sufficient, I've got a well-stocked mini fridge of craft brew to help relax my restless and idle mind. The last thing I want to do is be back here tonight on this forum, inebriated and claiming this was all a huge mistake. There's no need for me to be crying, too.
No, I'm in as healthy a state of mind as I've been since this chapter in our lives started several weeks ago. I trust my wife that she can follow her heart and still keep me close. She was an amazing, gorgeous, brilliant and passionate woman when I met her, when both of us were merely teenagers. I couldn't have imagined then all that she would become, from a much sought-after healer, phenomenal mother to an incredible lover.
As I've watched her grow into an even more amazing, gorgeous, brilliant and passionate adult woman, it occurs to me that I've never had her all to myself. She's lived her own life, one of her choosing, and I've been so fortunate to witness it all. I've shared her with her mentors, colleagues, friends and family. She is now sharing herself with another love, another lover. That category is all that's new. I know this doesn't change the fact that she chose me as her life partner. She keeps reminding me of that and how much she loves me and "isn't going anywhere" without me.
I'm amazed and humbled by this woman. I always have been. I love her immensely. I do I do I do.
And I'm looking forward to watching Community tonight. 22 episodes, not counting the special features.
Bring it on.
Last edited by BraverySeeker; 10-20-2012 at 12:47 PM.