my partner of two years want an open relationship.
Recently my partner of two years expressed to me that he wants to have an open relationship. When we first started dating he made it clear that he wasn't into promiscuous sex. He says that he wants to spend his life with me and sleeping with someone else would not make him love me any less. I am super uncomfortable with the situation because he is the only person i want to be with. The problem is that he is scared to "have one vagina the rest of his life".
i in no way want to be in an open relationship because where he thinks we can learn from other people and use it on each other, i would be jealous and uncomfortable with him sleeping around. i do not feel that it would help at all only that it would destroy our relationship. He tells me that he won't do anything because we are not both comfortable with it yet but wants to push it on me to read books and be more open minded.
I get that there is billions of people on earth many of whom are attractive but i don't have the urge to sleep with them, and if i did meet someone i really connected with that doesn't mean it has to be sexual like he's been talking about. I fear that it would lead to the end of us but i don't know if i can true him to be faithful now. I feel as though he would cheat and not tell me because he doesn't want to lose me but he still wants to be with other women. I am really confused and hurt and feel that maybe I'm just not enough anymore.
He brings up that its not natural to stay with one person for life (we've been with other people its not like he hasn't ever been with anyone else) and i know its nature to be attracted to other people but that doesn't mean you have to act on it in a sexual manner. Talk to girls dance with them hangout and be friends thats fine just don't fuck them is all i ask and he seems to think it would be ok.
Basically if he is going to be with me for years he wants to be able to see other women and talk about it but i am just not open to this at all and he keeps pushing it. I love hime so much and don't feel i would love him the same if we did this, i don't even think of the same since talking about.
I don't know what to do, if we stay together i don't know if i'll be able to trust him anymore. what if he does it and just doesn't tell me. i would never be able to kiss him and love him knowing that he's sleeping with someone else.
Do I try and make it work being monogamous and not trust him, or end it now before i just get hurt? I am so confused.