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Old 10-19-2012, 06:33 PM
Wizzard Wizzard is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post

1. I would definitely not choose the pillow talk option since you want to move forward not just have a conversation. I'd opt for the long drive conversation for this. As you know tired people do not have the best luck having big important conversations, and you don't want the day to wrap up with hurt feelings, on the off chance she has a reaction you do not expect.
Oh, good thought. Plus, it can be a longer conversation if we're driving - although the consequences of a freak out would, I guess, be physically dangerous (she does the driving), I in no way would anticipate that. Thanksgiving, I believe we have a drive ahead of us, so maybe on the way back.

2. Two months after Cookie's husband dies? That seems to not be the best timing. He died suddenly, not after a long illness, so that's going to take a hell of a toll. Each person has their own schedule to date again after that, but I would warn that I think so soon after has a greater likelihood to cause problems down the road, a chance that later she goes through a period of extreme guilt for jumping into a relationship so quickly.
Good point, in that I would want it to be a new aspect of our relationship, rather than just a roll in the hay. (Which, by the way, I know she has had since her husband died, because she told me.)

But I'm not talking about it as tho I'd be headed up there this weekend. More of a "Ready when you are."

I personally would also be somewhat repelled if somebody I saw as a friend and was interested in appeared to be being opportunistic - "your husband is dead, now we can be lovers!" Perhaps she has indicated she is ready or comfortable. Maybe you think that the comfort of your warm body is going to help deal with her grief, but that's not the healthiest kind to give right now IMO. Perhaps it is right for her, but I doubt you're being very objective right now, and she's in mourning, she cant be objective either.
Again, this wouldn't be a brand new development for us. It has been discussed in the past, and we did date many, many years ago. But your point is well taken, and I need to make it clear that, if it's decided not to move that route, that we can still be exactly as close as we have been, as far as I'm concerned.

3. Have you already actually already been physically involved in any way with Cookie during your marriage Wizzard? I get a feeling that perhaps you may have to some extent.
That's interesting. Without confirming or denying at this point (because I really want to know before I answer), what gives you that feeling?
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