Originally Posted by Emm
Allow me to rephrase then.
You don't buy a car you want to keep
and drive it until the wheels fall off.
hehe sorry, I didn't mean that in a disagreeing kind of way. Your analogy, either version, is very apt. If you buy any car and don't do regular maintenance, you will drive it into the ground and then you won't have your car any more.
I'm sure most of us have met people that are fun to date and hang out with, but we can't imagine setting up a life together. With "fluff" relationships, you don't have to worry about dealing with your deep issues together, because it will never be serious enough to matter. For 20 years, my husband was quite content to work that way. He'd meet women, date them for a bit, and hit the road the moment it started getting serious. In other words, first time the car needed an oil change to keep running, he'd scrap it.
My current car is still 15 years old (literal car). But I love that car. The transmission just went on my last road trip. Crossroads: Do we dump $1200 into an old car, or scrap it? Well, he'd already spent $1000 last Christmas putting in a new stereo and remote starter. We knew the car's history better than a new car. So we asked the mechanic to find everything that could go wrong in the next 3 years. For $2700, I got my car to where it will run for years. A new car would have cost about that much, and it wouldn't have a kickin' stereo or remote starter, and most of all, I wouldn't know about the new car's mechanical issues until they flared up.
It's funny how much that mirrors relationships. A lot of people are willing to throw out 15 years of investment just because there's some big problem that will be really hard to deal with. They think that just getting a new partner will be some kind of solution. But that new partner isn't going to be perfect, she'll have her own set of issues and you won't know about them all at the beginning.