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Old 10-18-2012, 11:07 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 452

Originally Posted by AggieSez View Post

I've notice that the vast majority of these responses came from people who are part of a primary-style couple. I'd also love to hear views from solo poly/open people -- that is, people who don't have (and who maybe aren't seeking or don't want) a primary-style relationship of their own.
Hi Aggie,

I just wanted to respond to this to say that there are only a handful of us (solo-identified folks not seeking a primary partner) on this forum. As far as I know, NYCindie and I are the only two regular/frequent posters in that category (until you came along, at least).

I like this topic and I'll have more to say on it, but right now I'll just say that the biggest issue for me about not being able to be fully "out" is that no one believes me when I say I'm poly/non-monogamous.

My friends know I've been involved with one guy for the last 10 months, and I've told them that we're non-monogamous and that I'm looking to date others, but my friends can't seem to grasp this or take me seriously. They ask me how things are going with my guy, but not about how my other dating searches are going.

Similar with my family. They won't really believe/understand unless I bring two guys home for Thanksgiving or something (which is not what I would want to do at all!)

I feel can't "prove" I'm having healthy, happy non-monogamous relationships unless I can demonstrate that I am indeed in more than one relationship. But the exploring/dating around is part of the fun for me, so obtaining more than one stable relationship is not my only goal in terms of what I want from dating.

Also, I'd like to be "out" as a single-by-choice person (regardless of what my dating life is like), but I find my family & friends also don't believe me, or they say things like, "Aw, you'll meet someone eventually. Don't give up!"

I'll post more later. Thanks for the topic, Aggie.
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.
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