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Old 10-18-2012, 10:54 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,569

Originally Posted by Jayehare View Post
So what about the rest of our friends - when talking to them, surely I can try and explain what happened - not in the hopes of being excused for it, but in the hopes that they understand? Is there an easy way to explain the poly mindset to those conditioned to monogamy? Or will that still look bad in the face of the pain that I've caused?
To be blunt - it will still look bad.

I screwed up royally when I first got involved with Dude. I hurt my beloved husband - he hurt BAD. (You can read about it in my "Journey" blog here - the /jackassery/ section)

AFTER the dark times (because when my husband is upset with me there are very few people that I can stand to even talk to, let alone share with) I did speak to my very closest friends about what had happened and how miserable I felt having caused him so much pain. BECAUSE they were my very closest friends I knew that they could listen to me, see that I had acted badly, and still love and support ME while never, for one minute, "letting me off the hook" for the mistakes I had made.

Our other, regular friends? AFTER everything was reconciled and Dude was firmly established with us we began to gently talk about (around really) the concept of polyamory - which really surprised none of them, although some of them had questions, they've know us a long time .

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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