Originally Posted by BraverySeeker
So while we may have stumbled into what apparently is an idealized poly arrangement, it would seem to me that the best way to preserve it as an ideal is to keep it a V and not seek a triad.
I don't know that there is an "ideal" poly arrangement. I think that's sort of the point. I'm in an arrangement that's good (not yet ideal) for me and my partners, but my arrangement would NOT work at all for at least a few people on this forum that I know of.
I think, perhaps, in all the excitement and energy (not all of it positive) of your wife's GF leaving her husband, you may be trying to rush to what you see as the "goal" or the "good time"- she and your wife getting to be in a stable, healthy relationship. Which is understandable, but please, try to slow down and be cautious. There isn't an "ideal". A triad isn't even really something to "seek". Things happen. Be open and honest with everyone, but respect your wife's likely desire to have her gf to herself for a bit, to grow and deepen their relationship (which it seems you are willing to do). After some time, who knows? Maybe feelings will grow between you and the girlfriend that your wife will need to deal with. Maybe not, and that's okay too. The key is to remember that you're not aiming for some finish line. There is no "This is how we are and this is the way we're staying". Live life and watch things change. Trite but true: change is the only constant.