Glad that helped you from my blog thread.
He argued, saying it was my choice to be apart and that we could be together while he worked on it.
That is correct. It IS your choice. You are NOT WILLING to do this -- be together while he works on himself and endure these cycles of distance and pain from each other. It is NOT the kind of relationship you want to have with anybody.
You are allowed to feel that way and you are allowed to choose your own behavior.
He is allowed to feel however he feels. He is allowed to choose HIS behavior.
Good for you! I hope you start to feel better now that you navigated this rough spot. Everyone has to hold their own baggage. Sometimes it is hard to do, but you did it.