Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
It's been really humbling for me to come to understand the trust that my metamour has put in me... he and his lovely wife (my girlfriend) have opened their marriage up to me. I could wound them very, very badly if I suddenly turned evil and decided I wanted to. I could try to drive them apart. Hell, just by breaking her heart I would make his life much harder. She trusts me, but that's sort of a given in a relationship. The fact that he, too, trusts me enough to let me this close -- it's a big deal.
This is eye opening. It flips the script on what I fear I could feel for my wife's GF. I'm amazed and humbled by how she has inspired my wife to open up her heart to someone other than me. To me, that's an inherently attractive power.
But AnnabelMore reminds me that the GF in turn must honor how I, too, have opened my heart to accept her with my wife. That willingness may, I don't know, be attractive to her. But for her to pursue something with me would almost surely hurt my wife and put our marriage at risk, I see that.
So while we may have stumbled into what apparently is an idealized poly arrangement, it would seem to me that the best way to preserve it as an ideal is to keep it a V and not seek a triad.
My wife's happiness is what's most important to me. She seems to love me more than ever, largely because I'm not barricading her heart. I've got no complaints, thank you very much, as the mono one in this affair.
What we have embarked upon is complicated enough. Why oh why would we want to fuck it up?