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Old 10-18-2012, 03:15 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 472

Thank you, Opalescent, for such a well thought and sensitive reply--I very much appreciate it, and just knowing others are rooting for me is infinitely helpful.

I've had a couple of long-term girlfriends before I ever met hubby, and he knows that. I was madly in love with one particular woman when I was in my early 20's and I was the third in a relationship with her and her boyfriend (now husband.) Why Hubby thought those feelings for women magically went away for me is a mystery.

I used the term "Mistress" as opposed to "Girlfriend" because at one point I called her primary male lover her "boyfriend" and she chewed my head off I've been meaning to ask her what she wants me to call her. I see your point how the word "Mistress" connotes a cheating, lying spouse--exactly who I'm trying hard not to be.

My fear is Hubby has a history of not dealing with things. He is not one for self-examination, fears change, and tends to numb his emotions with work, t.v., alcohol, whatever. I'm trying to give him space and time to think, but yeah, I'm concerned he's not doing the work he needs to do. And you're right that's there's no turning back. We need to become a different couple than the one we've been until now.
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