I'm just going to get this out of the way: There's no such thing as a "polyamory community." There are only individual polyamorous people bumbling around their business, just like everyone else. Some of us got our hands on smart phones, and all hell broke loose. It's okay. I came here with the same unrealistic expectation, and was briefly devastated just like you. But then I found other people here who are exactly what you and I were looking for. So it's all good.
This is just a forum on the internet. Every forum on the internet has its jerks with nothing better to do than nitpick and irritate people. I mean geeze, his tag is "Drink, Eat, Pee, Poop." How much maturity do you honestly expect? Despite self-proclamation, neither BoringGuy nor AutumnalTone is our Official Spokesperson. Their word is not law. While I agree that unicorn typically refers to hot bi babes being sought by a married couple, there's no denying the fact that many people have proclaimed themselves to be unicorns. Whether or not AT and BG are happy about it, English is ever-changing. Oxford writes its definitions based on common usage, it does not dictate common usage. When common usage changes, Oxford updates its definitions. As opposed to Franšais, which actually has a committee of people who decide what words mean and when those definitions can be changed.
Unless I missed an election, there's no Official Committee for the Proper Usage of Polyamorous Terms. Common usage is the best we have. So let's Google "unicorn hunter." First hit is Urban Dictionary. First line of the most popular definition contains a link to "unicorn." Let's click it.
Originally Posted by http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=unicorn
Colloquial; Synonym for hot bi babe or HBB, often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.
Voted "up" by 65% of users. The definition states explicitly that Unicorns need not be female. Even assuming "though not always" is the entire reason the other 35% voted it down, most people are satisfied with this definition.
Originally Posted by http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synonym
one of two or more words or expressions of the same language that have the same or nearly the same meaning in some or all senses
Unicorn is a synonym
for HBB. Not identical to or defined as. The masses have spoken. If you don't like the way they decided, start a letter writing campaign, or get your 283 closest friends to vote it down for a 50/50 split.