Hey guys, thanks so much for your replies. My head feels a little clearer getting outside perspectives.
Marcus, you make a really good point about independence and happiness. I think this is a big part of our problem. W and I had a long talk this morning and we are feeling a little more stable. I am going to take a week break or maybe a little longer from seeing W so I can focus on myself, but I made it clear to him that I fully intend to pick things back up. I know I have some issues but I think I can handle this. W wanted me to know that he can accept the challenge of being with me and I feel the same way about him and about this situation. I do feel that space would benefit me right now so that's what I'm doing but I feel like simply walking away from W would be overkill.
Galagirl, thank you so much for all the resources. I realize now that I've been way too hard on W, which I expressed to him. I'm going to have him read some poly literature too so maybe we will be able to communicate better. As I think I mentioned he isn't really familiar with poly except for through this situation and I think if we both had some guidelines to keep in mind we might have more success.
I also definitely take your point about feeling yucky. That's exactly how I feel! But when you say it like that, I kind of realize that it's just a feeling and nothing to overreact about or feel like everything is falling apart, just something to work through.
Thank you so much both of you. You have been infinitely helpful. I'm really glad that I joined this forum.