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Old 10-17-2012, 05:13 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,188

Originally Posted by haruki View Post
obviously I was not aware that this forum would be so filled with such gender-normative members focused on such semantical bullshit. I apologize for any inconvenience I have caused due to my misuse of a frivolous and(unbeknownst to me) gender-specific term. All I can say is that I WAS generally looking for a discussion, but most of what I found was only criticism on specific word usage. I am asking to have this topic deleted as such.Here I thought this community would be a safe place filled with at least open-minded people. I regret to admit I was (mostly)wrong. Again, sorry... This community-aside from a few members- has left a bitter taste of the horribly stereotypical hetero-normative world in my mouth and I will find a different venue for my questions in the future.
What you seem to have missed in your knee-jerk response is that folks have pointed out that "unicorn" is not only a term that doesn't apply to you, it's a term that you likely don't ever want associated with you in any fashion.

I describe your reaction as "knee-jerk" for a simple reason. You described yourself using a negative term that doesn't apply to you. The first response to your post pointed out it doesn't apply to you and asked what it was about the term you found so compelling. Your response to that was both odd and hostile, where you asked why the responder was fixated on your use of the term--um...WTF? Seriously, pointing out the misuse of a term does not indicate a fixation on your use of it.

And that hostility from you is where that tangent went south. It wasn't due to anybody else except for you. Heaping on bullshit charges of heteronormative bias doesn't help things, either--and certainly doesn't follow from folks offering the definition of a term you misused. I'll let you in on a (not so) secret--most of the folks who post here regularly don't give a damn about what your gender or sexuality is.

I don't know if you're embarrassed by misusing the term. I don't know if you don't understand that discussion of ideas isn't a discussion of you. I don't know if you're just so scarred by bad experiences elsewhere that you react negatively to any contrary feedback. I've no idea what drives your behavior.

I do know that lashing out at people when they provide you with the correct definition of a word is dysfunctional.

I'll also suggest restarting your discussion, only without bothering with trying to label yourself or your desired role. And without the jerking knee when somebody offers up information contrary to what you thought was the case.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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