Runic Wolf and I are out to most of our friends about being poly, but only out to a select few about who I am seeing. We are not out on social media (or rather I am not) or to family due to my job's morality clause.
My boyfriend, Wendigo, and I agreed in the beginning that we needed to keep our relationship private for a few reasons: 1) my work's morality clause 2) he and his wife are living in a house on her family's property in a small rural town 3) Pretty Lady is a published author who is a very private person and didn't want people to make assumptions etc. that might affect her livelihood.
Over the years this has relaxed. Several of our friends know or at least suspect that we are involved romantically. Pretty Lady's family has moved off the property and Wendigo now works with my husband, so sleep overs are now possible because no one will be questioning why. At this point, Wendigo and I don't really care who knows, but aren't going out of our way to tell people. The general train of thought is that if we get shunned by our group of friends for something that hasn't effected them at all while they were unaware of it, than who needs them?
Family is a different story because our family helps us with childcare and rent. And when I came out as bi to my siblings, my dad found out and was cool, but he didn't know my mom was unaware and outed me. My mom willfully disbelieved and then was confronted with the truth when a friend posted pics on social media of me kissing a girl. My mom didn't speak to me for a week and then never mentioned it to me. She just told my sister that she didn't know where she'd gone wrong with me.