Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
"If O wants a relationship with you, one with love, concern, commitment, adoration, and time then being in a secondary (lesser) relationship would naturally be uncomfortable."
For the record, a secondary relationship can certainly incorporate all of the things on that list. The only two that are necessarily "lesser" are commitment and time, but they can still exist and be real within that context.
Surely, Annabel, the hope is that all relationships exist according to the requirements of their participants. If someone needs a relationship but does not place high value upon time and commitment then I'm sure they'll be ripping happy with a relationship in which these things are absent.
According to the OP, it sounds like O is not in a hurry to adjust to his status as a secondary.