"If O wants a relationship with you, one with love, concern, commitment, adoration, and time then being in a secondary (lesser) relationship would naturally be uncomfortable."
For the record, a secondary relationship can certainly incorporate all of the things on that list. The only two that are necessarily "lesser" are commitment and time, but they can still exist and be real within that context.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.