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Old 10-16-2012, 06:26 PM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Tri-State
Posts: 275

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I remain cautious and reminded that I don't know all sides of the stories and its nothing to do with me. Still, I feel and care deeply for those involved and fight myself on making suggestions and comments that they might see as intrusive and controlling. Where is the line between sharing wisdom and attempting to control outcomes so as to experience some kind of relieve?
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Still, occasionally I get aggravated that someone thinks they are the only one going through stuff, the only ones with problems and dilemmas, the only ones that have stuff to talk about and get resentful that I don't get asked how I am doing and what is going on for me. Its my own fault. I don't push my own issues in conversations and tend to inquire about others rather than talk about my self. Not with everyone, but most people. When I do finally say something, usually out of frustration, people tend to be surprised that I have my own shit going on and that I am in the same boat as them or have been. They get surprised that they are not unique in all the world at all. When it comes to poly, we have all been through it before. Its not anything new. And if we haven't, we will at some point.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Actually, truthfully, PN is the biggest giver to me. He takes care of many things I don't have time for or energy. He gets the least amount of my time and gives the most. He really is the most incredible man. I wish he would find someone that would give him more attention than I have time for. He deserves that. At the same time I am concerned I will lose him to someone that has time for him. I would be lost without his attention to the details of our family life. I guess I would adjust, but I don't want to and don't wish for that.
I myself have discovered recently that I hate detail. We're about to move and having to deal with the little things is bothersome to me and I'd prefer my SO figure it out and execute while I do other stuff that's beneficial to us. We work better that way and I'm happier that way.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I am not excited about the extra time away from my life for meetings and not so much looking forward to passing on info to workers that get frustrated with my lack of detail and care for facts. I carry an understanding of feelings, emotional content and overall sense of what is going on and sometimes that is not what people want to know.

All of this resonates so very deeply with me. I don't have much to say besides, I'm right there with you Red. Right. There. I get it I get it I get it.

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