I have been reading posts here for a while, and I have really enjoyed reading people's thoughts on many a dilemma. So now I will share my own and hopefully somebody will have some thoughts to share. It will be greatly appreciated!
I have been with my husband for 9 years, we have a great, stable, positive relationship, 2 small children, we are open and open-minded sexually, so far so good.
Earlier in the summer I fell in love with my neighbour. It was pretty much love a first sight, but it took a while to dawn on me just how deeply I felt for this guy. I had never considered opening up emotionally, I love my husband and feel very lucky with him and our beautiful children. But as it has been stated before, emotions can't be controlled. My husband knows everything that's going on.
Now, the guy I fell in love with, O, is a budding furniture designer, and he moved back home to his parents earlier this summer due to difficulties finding work and finishing uni and stuff, and now he lives with them in our street. I love the whole family, we see them all socially and they are lovely!
Nothing happened with O all summer until a couple of weeks ago. We had the whole family over for dinner, and O suggested we all go to the local beer festival. Nobody but I was up for it, so the two of us went. And we kissed. Passionately. All evening. I told him everything, about all my emotions, everything.
Then he came over for lunch today as I needed to sort things out in my head. He said that it is all too much for him. His parents living here (they don't know anything), my husband, our children. He said that he feels that he's being dealt a bad hand if we get involved and he gets emotionally attached and then I can go home to my husband every night (and he gets to go home to his parents
). He feels he gets left with nothing but borrowed affection. I guess he is basically saying that if he can't get the whole package, then he doesn't want anything.
And I see his point.
He said he's still like to go out with me, like dancing and drinking beer. I said that I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off him if we did, and he said that he could live with that, with that lovely smile of his on his lips.
Is he right in saying that he is not getting as much as he deserves? That I cannot give him as much as he's worth? Is that what it is to be the second person in a V where there is a clear primary couple? What are your thoughts?
Thanks for having read this far! I really, really appreciate any thoughts!