I did it to myself yesterday, but got out of it in the end.
Ocean had organised for a mutual friend of ours to drop by after work. I didn't know what time she was coming around. It was a vague "sometime in the evening."
Before Ocean left for work, I told him not to worry about hurrying home to me. I know that he's juggling work and sneaking time with his new girl during work hours at the moment. (His work is flexible so this is okay, just might mean he has to stay at work later to get things done)
By afternoon, I was pining for Grotto. Hah. Funny how quickly appetites get whet. I don't see him for over two months, and cope okay, but now after just a day I'm feeling withdrawals. I send him a message to this effect. While I'm swimming, he replies to ask - wanna after work beer?
I get out of the pool just after 5pm. I wonder if I should txt or ring Grotto. I decide to text, and leave it a bit more up to chance whether we get in touch or not. I'm not sure what time I'm meant to be home. If I catch up with G, things could get too late... I need to get home before our friend gets there, yada yada.
Anyways, I drag my feet a bit, sort out a few things near the pool, but don't hear back from Grotto. So I walk slowly homewards... still in two minds. Should I ring him? Or wait and see if he gets back to me? I want to see him. But, there's no clarity about what time I'm expected home. Meh. I head home.
About 10 mins after I get home, Grotto rings me. He didn't get my earlier text. Turns out he is drinking with work friends at a bar really close to where I was swimming. He was there when I got out of the pool, and I would have walked right past. Damn. For some reason, just
missing each other made me super antsy.
So now I'm restless, at home, waiting for Ocean to get back. In the morning, I'd told him I didn't mind when he got home... so I don't want to ring and bother him in case he's in the middle of something with Menrva (not that he'd pick up anyway, hopefully). I'm really wishing we'd been clearer about plans.
About an hour later, Ocean still not home. Is around 8pm now. Grotto rings me, his voice slick with craft beers and whiskey - "come out come out" he says "I love you". I tell him I'm waiting for O to get home, and our friend.
Anyways anyways, Ocean eventually gets home. (In the meantime, I've released my tension into a slightly emo song. PM me if you wanna hear it!) About half an hour after he gets back, our friend arrives. We have a cuppa tea and chat, but I'm wriggly, I wanna go out, missing Grotto. After our friend leaves, it's late but I can't stay in. Feels like I have unfinished business elsewhere. The plan was to stay at home with Ocean last night, but I needed out... Said this to O, and he was fine with it. Told me to go hang with Grotto. Yay.
Twas nearly midnight by the time I made it to Grotto's. He was snoozing on the couch, his soft face like a sunbeam sleeping. I love him so much. We went to bed, and eventually popped the air mattress (whoops). Well, it was bound to happen. Pre-work breakfast this morning, now home.
Didn't make it back before Ocean left for work, but I'm going to tidy up a bit and finish cooking a few things before I head out again. May be home late. Going to my friend Freya's. She lives with Clay, the guy I've hooked up with a few times in the past. I don't really want to stay the night there, but I tend to lose track of the time and miss the last tram. I'll do my best to stay focused this time. Or, if I do stay over, will get an early tram back so I can meet Ocean back home in the morning.
I'm so glad there are so many times of the day to do things
A saving grace.