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Old 10-15-2012, 11:12 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,298

Oh well, just because we want someone doesn't mean we get to have them. So, he's attracted to her and interested, but she isn't into being with a guy who has a partner -- so what is there to fuss about? She's a "no go." Plain and simple.

If he was mono and single, asked a woman out, and she turned him down because she wasn't interested in dating him, would he try all kinds of ways to convince her she should? There has to be respect for her position, and if he isn't about to ditch you for her, well, he would do well to keep looking. The crush or attraction he feels for her will likely fade in time. Why expend unnecessary energy on someone who is a "no" when he'd be better off looking for a "yes?" Plenty of fish, as they say.

Now, it would be different if she was wishy-washy when she turned him down and said things like, "We-e-eeeellll... I dunno. I've never been in this position before. Maybe if I understood it..." That would be an opening.

But a straightforward "Nope, not interested" doesn't leave any room for much else, does it? So, I'd walk away. Whenever there's been a situation in which I forced my preferences on somebody, it only went kablooey in my face.

- - - - - - - -

As for number of relationships, I am in two with a few other potentials in the making. I'm very slow when it comes to developing additional relationships. None are mono to me.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 10-15-2012 at 11:18 PM.
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