I want to start this story over, with more intentionality. Like I do with many things, I dove into this blog without too much thought of how I would proceed. Since reading other people's narratives, and thinking more about what I want from my own blog, I'd like to make a fresh beginning. I'm going to see how it goes, here, and possibly move it to a new blog at some stage.
One change that I need to 'announce' is new names for Sago and Carob. They will now be Ocean and Grotto respectively. Apologies for any confusion. Hopefully it will be worth it in the long-run.
On the topic of new names, I need one for Ocean's girl, and I'm going with Menrva. Also Bert, for her husband.
I chatted last night with Ocean about him blogging on here. In the past, he's been supportive of poly as a concept but not been seeking out poly-related communing. Now and then, he's gone along with me to poly things, but he hasn't been independently keen. While he's understood the theoretical value of sharing poly perspectives more widely, to help each other navigate these unchartered territories, there haven't been many occasions for him to experience this himself.
Recently, though, he's been supporting Menrva and Bert a bit with poly stuff. They've had an open, DADT relationship so far, but there have been issues. One of the main issues was not having discussed boundaries properly. When Menrva developed feelings for Ocean, she wasn't sure if this was breaking the rules of their (her and Bert's) DADT arrangement or not. This meant she had to breach the DADT to clarify what the open relationship rules actually were.
Luckily, Bert was okay with the growing emotional attachment between her and Ocean. At the moment, Ocean & Menrva's boundaries are: no sleepovers (though they're allowed to have daytime or evening trysts in each other's houses) and no PDA in front of Bert. Both Ocean & Menrva would prefer those boundaries to shift to something more relaxed (especially the sleepover one) but are respecting Bert's pace.
My first dinner with the in-laws (as I'm jokingly calling Menrva+Bert) went well the other night. Both Ocean's and my salads were good. Menrva made a pasta dish, which I'm eating leftovers of now for lunch. Noms. Apparently vibes were a bit awkward for Menrva at dinner, though. Nothing specific was a trigger, just the situation itself brought up emotions she did not expect to feel. Ocean and her are colleagues, so hopefully they can steal some time at work today to chat and unwind
I'm doing okay with the Menrva thing. There've been a few wobbles, but nothing serious. I want lots of hanging out with Ocean, though. Holding, talking and touching. I'm glad he waited til I got back from holiday to tell me about it.
Art playdate at Freya's tomorrow (a friend). Her flatmate is Clay, a guy who I have a casual thing with. May end up sleeping over there. Cough cough. Or going round to Grotto's place (Grotto = artist formerly known as Carob). If I don't see G tomorrow, then will sleep over the day after.
Home with Ocean tonight.
Ah. Will need to sort scheduling soon. If we pencil in some defaults, then confirm it week-by-week, it will probably work out okay.
Things aren't too tricky yet as Menrva can't sleep over at the moment. I may have to make myself scarce from our house if they want to come here sometimes during 'waking hours', though. Awww. Makes me beam to think of them enjoying each other. Boy, is Ocean smitten. He's washing his hair every day cos she likes it fluffy. He did press-ups this morning (never seen that before). And he said he wants to go op-shopping with me to extend his wardrobe (!?) So many things to tease him about. Some may be unrelated to the new relationship, but it's fun to harrass him anyway
Ok. I'm gonna do more job seeking, go for a swim, finish making birthday present for Freya (friend who I'm visiting tomorrow) and toast muesli.