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Old 10-15-2012, 01:57 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paraselene View Post
My partner insists that he'd like me to date others, but I do doubt my own capacity to be emotionally/romantically attached to someone else without diminishing my love for him.
Jeez, why? That's ridiculous. Tell him to stop insisting!!! Do not let him even say those words!

Let him know that you are exploring the idea but doing so may not be a fit for you, and so he will have to deal with all the feelings he has about being poly while you are not. Don't ever do anything that doesn't feel right for you. Mono-poly relationships can work very well, but the poly person has no right to insist that their partner be poly too, if they really don't want to be. That is not respectful of who you are.

Think also of how shitty it would feel to be the person you would be with when they realize you're just with them to try and even the score and not because you are really moved to be with them. Come on!

If you feel open to it, if you feel a connection with someone, go for it, but don't force anything with anybody just to please your partner and alleviate his guilt or whatever. That would just be a major dumb move.

Why not invite him here to post his viewpoint? It might help his process if he read some responses to his "insistence."
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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