Many thanks to everyone who's contributed to this excellent discussion so far. I appreciate the diversity of view on, and approaches to, outness in poly relationships.
I just published on SoloPoly.net a followup to my original post on the outness theme:
Why it can be hard to discuss how out you are (or want to be) early in poly/open relationships
This was sparked by Cindie's excellent and obvious question, which boils down to (paraphrasing): "Why wouldn't poly people just talk about this all clearly up front?"
I responded to that in this thread, but then decided to copy my remarks to my blog -- and also to link to this discussion thread, so others can see a range of views on this topic. (Note: I did not quote from anyone else's posts to this thread.)
Thanks for the great, and enlightening, discussion! I look forward to more.